Showing posts with label church and religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church and religion. Show all posts

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Believe.

It's no secret to family and friends that my brother Neil was having a hard time passing the Bar Exams. He flunked three times and now has to take a refresher course in order to sit the exam again. That would mean another thousands of expenses for my retired parents and me. He's a casual employee at the Public Attorney's Office in Kalibo, and earning a meager salary which couldn't even suffice for his medications - he's a diabetic on insulin - without benefits.

For years he - we - have been waiting for this appointment to finally become a permanent employee with full benefits. We were praying and hoping and waiting fervently for this one big break. I prayed everyday. I prayed hard when sadness took over greatly; I prayed harder when I was on the verge of asking WHY.

One night, I just stopped praying. I got tired of praying.

Then, he broke his right pinky a month ago. It was a bad fracture. I had to buy him tickets so he could be treated here. Why not in Kalibo? Because I felt he was already prey to some doctor who seems not to be earning enough there. But that's another story.

The surgery was successful, thanks to my good med school classmate and now an orthopedic surgeon Reg, my good friend and mentor - diabetologist Julie, and Reg's friend Kenneth who agreed to do the anesthesia for free.

Nevertheless, there was the hospital bill to pay. It wasn't a comfortable sight withdrawing that amount for a sudden circumstance. I kept telling myself it was just money and I'll earn it back in no time. I was reciting this mantra on my head as I was going down the stairs to the cashier when Papa called to inform us of the good news - the appointment came. My brother takes his oath on March 7th.

Ate Ging, my cousin who stayed with my parents since before we were born, waited with me at the hospital during the surgery. We were just talking about our dream of my brother finally becoming successful. Now this news at the most opportune time. It was overwhelming we had to cry. People must have thought we lost someone at the OR because we were just crying.

I still can't believe it. I almost gave up. I was just about to give up.

I'm so glad God didn't give up on me.



You don't have to give up either. God hears. God listens. Just believe.


Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Prayer for Healing

No, I don't have cancer. But I do have certain things in my life right now that are beginning to get out of control. It feels so awful sometimes that it feels almost as if I'm physically sick.

I'd previously deal with it under the sheets. Literally. I'd blame the world for my many misfortunes and cry and cry until my tears run dry. It was very cowardly and did not really solve the problems. But hey it made me feel better even just for a while.

One Sunday several months ago someone was handing out leaflets to mall-goers, Mama and myself included. I accepted one but I never really read it. Not until Mama told me much later that she was praying the prayer printed on the leaflet every night and it always made her feel at peace.

So I did the same, recite the Prayer for Healing each and every night, from the heart, especially during times like these. It's deceptively brave, it makes me feel much better, and yes, it does solve problems (in myriad ways).

Prayer for Healing

Dear God,

You said, Come to Me all of you who are tired and heavily burdened and I will give you rest.

I come to you today... right now. Please touch every pore, every fiber, every cell of my body. Touch my mind, my heart and my spirit. Fill me with hope. Teach me to believe that with God, nothing is impossible. Help me to believe that nothing happens by chance and everything that happens has a reason.

I trust that no matter what, You will fight for me. I only need to be still. I need not fear anymore. Help me, heal me, hug me, be here in my pain. Blessed pain, holy pain. Blessed pain, holy pain.

I accept Your will, but touch every part of me that needs healing. Heal my body, heal my heart, heal my mind, heal my spirit, heal my pocket, heal my memories. I have come to You with my burdens. You will give me peace, You will give me rest, You will give me healing. And this I believe -

I believe that I am healed.

I believe that I am whole.

I believe that I can now live life to the full.

Mother Mary, Regina Rosarii, intercede for me to Jesus, your Son. I ask this in the Name of Jesus - the Great Healer, the Great Provider. AMEN.


The original prayer only refers to first person (the person actually praying) but Mama prays a second version after praying for herself. She replaces the ”I” with “his/her”,” they”, and so on; so in effect she's praying for her family, friends, even for strangers. It's short and easy so one could always pray this whatever the situation may be. It’s powerful, inspiring, and invokes all who read it to have a renewed sense of faith in God and belief in the Blessed Virgin’s intercession.



May you be inspired too,



Saturday, April 03, 2010

16 Churches. 9 hours. 2 pairs of feet. 1 fervent prayer.

As a child, my mama would take me to different churches during Holy Week, praying at the different Stations of the Cross and in the process being more intimate with His passion and sorrow, and from which we are expected to appreciate Christ's loving sacrifice for mankind. I haven't been doing this Visita Iglesia for several years now since I stopped singing at the old church choir. Since Noy and I were both free that Maundy Thursday, April Fools Day, I convinced him to go church-hopping with me this year because he hasn't done it yet, and we have a wish which we've been praying for for so long now. I believe that going on this mini-pilgrimage will refresh us spiritually and will help us build on our relationship more. So, at 3:30 pm on Maundy Thursday, we packed our bags (mostly food and water) and hit the road, rosaries in tow.


Our first stop was the Greenbelt Chapel. It was a little out of the way, but it's the only place whose confession schedule I know of. I didn't want to risk missing confession on Holy Week and besides, I wanted to start Visita Iglesia with an atoned heart =) seriously.

The lines were very long, though, and I almost got impatient. We didn't have the booklet to guide us through the Stations of the Cross, and I was hoping they'd sell it here. They didn't, and it added to my anxiety.


After an hour, we were "clean" and refreshed. And hungry, too. So we stopped by our favorite spot at McDonald's Paseo.

I am so having a breakfast bar in my future green home.

By the time we got to the next church, San Isidro Parish, the Kissing of the Feet mass was almost over. So we just took a picture of the church. It was our first time inside, so I made a wish =)


There wasn't, however, the guide booklets on sale. I got really disappointed over the two stations we could have prayed already.

I nevertheless looked forward to the next church - our favorite - Malate Church, no less! Where Stations of the Cross guide booklets were being sold! Hurrah! So from here on, the visit consisted of praying in front of the Altar of the Repose one station of the Cross, then taking a picture of it, as well as of ourselves in front of the church. Here's Malate Church's altar, which was surrounded by votives. I didn't like it very much because it almost looked like a seance was being held. But then of course I prayed and thanked God that Noy and I are able to this together.


Next church was in Ermita, the Shrine of Nuestra Senora de Guia. Its altar was one of the best I've seen throughout the journey.


After this, we headed for Intramuros. I suggested we go by foot from this point on, but Noy insisted we take the jeep. So we did, but there was still a lot of walking involved. In the process we bumped into Jona and Bart, Noy's med school classmates, and their kids. It was good to see them again after a long time. Noy and Jona were even groupmates during internship, so they knew each other pretty well.


We went into San Agustin first, where the Altar was too colorful, but felt really old and historic.


There was a lot to look at in this part of the Metro Manila, but the facade of the Manila Cathedral still proves breathtaking, especially at night.


Inside was a slightly different interpretation of Christ's crucifixion. The image had a broken right arm. It definitely pierces through.


I don't know what gives about the Altar though. It looked like somebody's wake.


A big problem we had to face was the lack of clean toilets at the churches. We decided to stop by a Greenwich (just because there were sooo many people at Chowking) to pee and have dinner nevertheless. Unfortunately, the only toilet Greenwich had was out of order. so I ended up in a very looong line to the Chowking toilet. What a bummer =( And of course, as always, the pizza never satisfied me. I know I know it's a local brand, so sue me. I never liked Greenwich pizzas since it was bought by Jollibee. And because they failed to deliver the one peso change due us. One peso!


Moving on, and with difficulty, because of the huge traffic buildup at around 10 pm, we took a jeepney to Sta Cruz, Manila. Noy was fascinated by the lights that lined up McArthur Bridge.


My family went to Sta Cruz church every Sunday when my brother and I were both very young, and being there naturally brings back fond memories. The people doing the vigil at the Altar of the Repose chose to sing in between prayers. I thought it helped set the mood; most people who do Visita Iglesia do so only for fun, especially the younger set.


I used to light a candle after mass, so I did the same. It was a childhood ritual that relaxes me up to this day.


Next on our list was Binondo Church, but we didn't go for it because there weren't many churches around it, and it might be quite dangerous already to walk the streets at around 10 pm. We headed instead to Quiapo Church. The crowd was not unlike that on a Friday, so we were able to go near the Altar of the Repose. I just didn't understand why taking pictures was prohibited. Noy was able to steal a shot just before an usher placed a hand over the lens. Feisty huh?! It's ridiculous, I'm sorry.


I felt bad I didn't get to pray enough because my emotions were disrupted by the camera-blocking hand.
Not to be disheartened, we crossed Quezon Boulevard and followed the crowd to San Sebastian. It looked like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.


We're problematic at this point because there weren't enough churches on our list to complete the stations. Just as I was about to propose a more tiring idea, along came a teeny weeny church to our left, a few meters before reaching San Sebastian.


It's called the Church of the Holy Face of Jesus. There was a huge replica of the Shroud of Turin at the main altar of this church, which is the size of a big house. Noy and I were relieved, but we had difficulty going in and out of the small church. It was really small, and there were so.many.people.


My husband, not wanting to break out of our little routine of taking a picture of ourselves outside every church, took a rather harsh shot, which captured the loser to my left. It was the perfect "Who the hell are you?" photo. Obviously he wasn't doing the Visita Iglesia to pray.


San Sebastian's Altar of the Repose was quite unfitting for the grandiose facade the church had. But the overall feel inside the church was still different. The sounds were a little hushed and a lot of people were lining up at the confessionals. Which is good because it didn't add to the stresses of hunger and tiredness.


We munched on our cookies while we walked a considerable distance to St Jude. It normally would have felt nothing but my legs felt heavier with each step. I realized it was past 11 pm, which is my sleeping time.

We briefly prayed at our favorite Shrine of St Jude before this simple Altar of the Repose,then went straight to our suki fishball vendor. I have been looking forward to savoring these true fishballs all night long.


Moving along some more, I was delighted to see that San Beda Church opened its doors to the pilgrims. It was Noy's first time to be there. Noy actually went to 5 churches for the first time that night. That's a lot of wishes!
Amongst all Altars of Repose we've seen, I liked San Beda's best. It was simple and elegant and solemn. No fancy stuff was placed in here.


We continued on with an impromptu decision to go to two nearby churches, St Anthony and Our Lady of Loreto, or what is referred to as Kambal na Simbahan (Twin Churches). They literally face each other, both being almost the same size and built on the same block just off Legarda. It's become a favorite among Visita Iglesia goers because it's like hitting two birds with one stone. Two churches in almost an instant. These two, while linked together, have very different personalities, at least from their appearance.We first went into St Anthony, a simple church which, judging by the architecture,was built around the 70s. It had a simple but solemn enough Altar of the Repose.


The other church was more lavishly built, what with marble finishing and all. What really attracted my attention, and I believe most of the others', was the fact that the Altar of the Repose had a special effect. It literally blows off steam every minute of so, the purpose of which is honestly baffling to me. It kind of distracted the vigil-goers rather than helping them concentrate on their prayers.

After Noy was done visiting 5 churches for the first time, we were ready to wrap it up. We excitedly took a jeepney to the last two churches we had to visit, the ones closer to home. It was around 12 midnight, the early minutes of Good Friday. As vigils on the Altar of the Repose conclude at 12 midnight, the churches were almost deserted when we got in. The lights had been turned off, save for some flickering candles and the security guard's.

The Sacred Heart Church in Sta Mesa was already dark as it is because of its location and structure. We didn't see much of its Altar of the Repose.


We didn't see the last church's at all. The Divine Mercy Shrine was altogether closed. We had to make do of the Adoration Chapel up front and under the driveway. It's no sense getting disappointed, because there was nothing I can do about. Instead, I was full of thanks, being able to complete this journey with the love of my life.


It was fun, it was tiring. It almost made Noy's knees buckle on a whim. But over McDonald's chicken fillets at 2 am, he told me he did it for love. Of me, of the Lord, and for our wish to finally be granted.

Friday, March 05, 2010

Exhilarating

Long before I became a church choir member, I've always dreamed of singing this song wholeheartedly in public -

PANGINOON, AKING TANGLAW

Music by: Fruto Ramirez, SJ
Lyrics by: Tim Ofrasio, SJ
Arrangement: Paulo K Tirol
Soloist: Maan Ferrer


Panginoon, aking tanglaw
Tanging Ikaw ang kaligtasan
Sa panganib ingatan ako
Ang lingkod Mong nananalig sa 'Yo

Ang tawag ko'y 'Yong pakinggan
Lingapin Mo at kahabagan

Anyaya Mo'y lumapit sa 'YoHuwag magkubli, huwag kang magtago
Sa bawat sulok ng mundo
Ang lingkod Mong hahanap sa 'Yo

Ang tawag ko'y 'Yong pakinggan
Lingapin Mo at kahabagan
Panginoon, aking tanglaw
Tanging Ikaw ang kaligtasan
Sa masama ilayo Mo ako
Ang lingkod Mong nananalig sa 'Yo.


It's a mellow song with a soothing melody that radiates a person's desire to serve the Lord. It is simple and honest and is easy on the ears. I hum or sing it when I feel alone or whenever I'm full with longing to go back to serving at the church. I had to stop serving when I entered medical school because I simply did not have the time to do so.
It's sad, and for years I was content at just listening to the choir at
mass. But now that I can set aside a specific time for weekday mass, I've started my devotion here -


It just happened. A few months ago, Noy volunteered to join the choir who sang at the 7pm mass. They are always just a handful of them (4 is considered many) at a time, and they more often than not they sang a capella because the pianist isn't always around. He was warmly welcomed (unlike in some church groups where they pose a lot of requirements for new members like it's a fraternity or something - yes, they do exist). Noy didn't push me to join them at once; he knew I developed nasty nerves after years of not singing in public on a regular basis. But after a few weeks I gathered some strength and placed myself before the microphone.

On my second week, I finally sang my dream song, in public, fully unprecedented, totally unexpected - and it felt awesome. Just awesome.





God is good!
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