A Fishy Surprise

One day last week, my husband texted me to report that he is bringing home a surprise that evening. I got excited, thinking that it was either girly stuff, or some really delicious food. When he got home, I saw him unloading, among his usual stuff, a really large plastic bag - the big ones from the palengke (market). I thought it couldn't be the surprise, but he proudly showed it to me and slowly unwrapped the thing inside with a big anticipatory grin. Here's what was in the plastic bag.


I never thought bangus (milkfish) could grow as large. I could not even look at it, much less eat it. I mean, I love fish. He knows I love fish. But I don't eat monsters that look like fish.

Apparrently, he got too excited when he saw it along the way to the clinic in Laguna and saw that it was very cheap at 80 pesos (USD 1.70) per kilo. In the aftermath of Typhoon Ketsana (Ondoy), the fishpens in Laguna Lake were destroyed, a lot of the fish that was intended to be sold were able to swim out of their pens and ended up in the households with the flood. Hence the very cheap price. So he bought the entire fish-monster, all 3.5 kilos of it. Methinks this one is a mother bangus who lays out a thousand eggs each day.


Its eyes were larger than a one peso coin. I have a number of friends and relatives, especially kids, who liked fish eyes so much they almost quarrel at the table on who gets this part. I wonder how they'd react if they see this.

Since I could not even go near it, Noy was left alone standing (literally) at the kitchen with the fish in his hands in a "here's my surprise!" smile on his face. Of course, the smile dissolved instantly. His really sad face broke my heart. So i mustered all strength, held my breath, and gingerly took the fish from him and placed it on the sink to clean it.
But I couldn't. I really tried, you know. That's when he finally accepted the fact that the fish was just too...monstrous. For me. It wouldn't have mattered if it were tuna or lapu lapu (grouper). A bangus this size is simply too weird.
So he did the cleaning and assumed the problem of placing it whole in the freezer. He was planning to make tinapa (dried fish) out of it, so he can't cut it into smaller pieces. Of course it didn't fit flat in, so he cleverly stored it this way -


It stayed that way for two days when Noy realized I wasn't going to touch it. Noy is not a fish-eater, so he's not touching it with his non-professional hands either. So it finally ended in my sister-in-law's freezer, where it's destined to become relleno in a few days.